Sitting in Limbo
by Jules9
Summary: Angel regains his soul, but that's not all... My take on the Angel/Angelus battle, inspired by Jimmy Cliff's song "Sitting in Limbo," and written in '98-'99, when I was 15-16... :-)
1. Quote

"Sitting here in limbo  
  
Waiting for the dice to roll  
  
Yeah, now, sitting here in limbo  
  
Still got some time to search my soul"  
  
Jimmy Cliff, 'Limbo' 


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1  
  
"If I could put you, on top of a cake I would ice you  
  
And keep you, wrapped up in a box to be near you  
  
If I could, I would"  
  
-Donna Lewis, "Silent World"  
  
Angelus sighed as he paced inside the confines of the library book cage. It was night and the only time he could safely get any feeding done. He shouldn't be cooped up like an animal, even though that might have been what he was... to some people.  
  
"You have no idea what you're doing," he told the people outside. "You can't hold me in here forever."  
  
The group outside ignored him and frustration set in as he growled and rattled the cage fervently, his vampiric face now evident. Still, with all his strength, it would not open. He had to get out of there he told himself. They were getting closer to the truth, and he had to leave before any of them had a chance to realize it.  
  
A janitor had found a disk in the computer lab, something that stupid teacher Miss Calendar must have left, and given it to Giles, hoping he could find some use for it. Now they all watched as Willow hurried to decipher its contents. Soon they would figure out that it was the secret to hopefully restoring his soul and attempt the ritual. He couldn't go back to that, feeding off refrigerated blood packets and hiding from the rest of the world. He wouldn't.  
  
That wasn't the only thing he dreaded. Sunrise was coming, it was about three hours away, and every vampire knew what that meant: death. Two large, rectangular windows were set in the wall in front of him, facing directly onto the cage and the stacks of books surrounding it. If he didn't get out of there fast, it would be too late.  
  
Stepping back against the wall, he ran forward and slammed into the door with all his might, hoping to break the lock and tear it off its hinges. It was useless. He was trapped, and there was nothing he could do to help it.  
  
"You know, I'd calm down if I were you," Buffy said to him coolly, walking past while keeping a safe distance from the angry vamp. "You're not getting out, and I don't think any of your pals are going to come out and rescue you. At least not tonight."  
  
Earlier that night, she'd had a run in with Drusilla, who was out with Spike, taking him for a roll. His injuries were healing, but he was still bound to that wheelchair, making it hard for him to do any of those things vamps love: hunting, feeding, maiming, and killing their victims. The usual.  
  
They may have been the most powerful demons in Sunnydale, maybe even the world, but they certainly weren't that bright. Stupidly, Dru had ordered most of her guards to remain at the factory, leaving only a few with herself and her beau, a very unlucky move.  
  
Buffy quickly worked her way through the guards with the help of Giles and the Slayerettes and moved on to Dru. Spike was in no condition to fight and although he tried to stop it, Buffy staked Drusilla right through the heart, turning her into a pile of ashes on the ground. That was the end of the reign of Spike and Drusilla.   
  
Spike managed to roll off somewhere, and she didn't feel the need to follow. He might have been a demon inside a man's body, but he still lost his love and she respected his right to be alone.  
  
She didn't know how she was able to overcome Drusilla. All she knew was as soon as she saw her, she felt empowered by something: rage. She wanted revenge.   
  
Angel had died, she knew that now. He had turned back into what he was before, a vicious vampire, and moved in with Spike and Dru. That was a vampire's nature you could say. To be with his own kind and to feed and kill. All her anger over the situation came out in one huge burst and then boom! Dru was gone.  
  
Spike went back to the factory - It was a stupid move, but he didn't care - to relay to Angelus the news of Drusilla's demise. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop the slayer and her friends, but Angelus would be. And he was right.  
  
Upon hearing what had happened, Angelus marched over to the library with a small army of guards to retaliate. There was a tremendous battle between the two sides, namely Angelus and Buffy, with the vampires coming out ahead.   
  
Somehow, Angelus let that get to his head. He began to act cocky, and that was what did him in. Buffy and company managed to lure him into the book cage and trap him there, with no way to get out. The troops saw what happened to their leader and immediately fell apart, retreating back to their hideaway.  
  
The slayer. Letting out a low growl, Angelus bared his fangs at her. She really was an annoyance. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed it before. However, that only made him want her more.   
  
With his soul, he had loved her and the remains of that were still evident inside of him. Instead of leaving, his soul was buried under the demon, but somehow he found he still cared for this girl in his own twisted way. He loved her and wanted her by his side. He would change her and together they would rule the world. That was, if he could ever get out.  
  
"Hey, this isn't the way I wanted to spend my Saturday night either," she said, unimpressed, as she rejoined the rest of her group. "What've we got?" she asked, sliding into a chair next to the computer.  
  
"It appears that, uh, before she died Jenny had found a way to restore Angel's soul," Giles informed her. "It was in an ancient passage of some sort that she translated on the computer. It's really quite simple. We only need a few things to complete it."  
  
"Then let's do it." 


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2  
  
"Fix me now, I wish you would  
  
Bring me back to life"  
  
-Garbage, "Fix Me Now"  
  
"I think it's locked," Willow told her friends. She, Xander, and Buffy were outside the magic shop, the only place in town where they were hoping to find an Orb of Thessela. The ritual said they needed one and this looked like the place to go.  
  
"Yeah, nobody's here," Xander agreed. He didn't like Angel even when he had his soul and now that he was back as a full-fledged vampire he figured the only way to safely get rid of him was to kill him. "Let's go."  
  
"We can't leave," Buffy told her friends. "It's getting closer to sunrise, and I'm not going to let him die just because the store isn't as accessible as a 7-11."  
  
Taking a deep breath, she kicked the door open and prayed there wasn't an alarm. She got her wish and hurried inside, checking for an orb. When she finally found it, she grabbed it and dropped some money on the counter, heading out the door. Two and a half hours and counting...  
  
***  
  
"We got it," Buffy said, coming into the library with the orb in her hand and Willow and Xander in tow. "Everything set?"  
  
"Yes, I think so." Giles looked at the table in front of him carefully. Books and a few ingredients sat on top with a burner and small cauldron. They were ready to begin.  
  
***  
  
The lights were turned low in the library and a liquidy mixture in the cauldron bubbled and fizzed as Giles chanted the spell.  
  
"Restore to Angelus his soul and conscience so that he may realize the wrongs he has done and return to his former self..."  
  
"This is crazy!" Angelus yelled at them from his rectangular prison, gripping the chain-linked door. "Let me out of here before something really bad happens."   
  
He was starting to panic, and all of them knew it. Sunrise was a little less than three hours away and by then he would be a new man. His worst nightmare was coming true.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Buffy slid the ring off her finger and held it up with her thumb and index fingers, turning it around closely. She looked at Giles who nodded and began her part of the ritual.  
  
"With this sacrifice I pray you bring back my love, god of death and the afterlife."   
  
Dropping the ring into the cauldron, she watched as sparks flew up from the mixture and the orb started to glow a bright yellow. Suddenly, a ray of colored light flew out of it and into Angelus' chest and he dropped to the floor in pain.  
  
"Ah!" he groaned, writhing around on the floor.  
  
Startled, Buffy put a hand to her mouth and stood back while his body convulsed a few times before calming down and falling to the floor.  
  
Grabbing a stake, she tiptoed over to the door. "Angel?" she asked quietly, opening it and stepping inside.  
  
"Buffy, be careful," Giles warned. The orb was supposed to glow if the ritual was successful, but right now it remained empty.  
  
Buffy bent down next to Angel, looking at his face carefully. It had changed into his human one and his eyes were shut tightly, causing his brow to furrow. He looked like he had been caught in a bad dream and she felt horrible.  
  
"Angel?" she whispered again, hoping to wake him. He didn't move and she began to think something was very wrong. "Hey, guys? I think something serious-"  
  
She was cut off suddenly when Angel's eyes flew open and in a quick, fluid motion he grabbed her and she dropped the stake in surprise as his fangs sank into her neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head and closed as he thirstily began to drain the blood from her body. Giles and Xander grabbed crosses and another stake and began to advance toward them, careful not to anger the vampire when he held Buffy's life in his hands, but then the oddest thing happened.  
  
Angel suddenly let go of Buffy and she fell to the floor, laying there motionlessly. Looking down in front of him, he saw his victim sprawled out on the floor and quickly scooped her up in his arms, bolting out the door.  
  
"Damn!" Xander cursed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "We should've moved faster! Now he's got Buffy. They could be anywhere. We'd better start a search before her mom starts to worry."  
  
"No, Xander, I don't think we'll have to after all," Willow told them, nodding in the direction of the orb.  
  
"What?"  
  
The two men followed her gaze and what they saw astounded them. The clear glass sphere was glowing, its surface radiating a bright yellow. The ritual was complete.  
  
"By God, it worked," Giles said in disbelief. 


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3  
  
"Demons cluttering around, my face showing no emotion  
  
Shackled by my sentence, expecting no return  
  
Here there is no penance, my skin begins to burn"  
  
-Creed, "My Own Prison"  
  
Holding Buffy steady with one arm, Angel used the other to open his apartment door and stepped in, quietly shutting it with his foot. Carefully, he carried her over to the bed on the other side of the room and threw back the covers, laying her down gently before putting them back over her. Two red marks showed on the side of her neck which he fingered lightly, whispering, "I'm sorry."  
  
The winter here's cold and bitter  
  
It's chilled us to the bone  
  
We haven't seen the sun for weeks  
  
Too long, too far from home  
  
I feel just like I'm sinking  
  
And I claw for solid ground  
  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
  
I never thought I could feel so low  
  
Oh darkness, I feel like letting go  
  
Quickly grabbing a first aid kit from the large wooden armoire standing against one of the apartment walls, something left from his run-in with Spike and Drusilla at the church so many months ago, he dragged a chair next to the bed. He cleaned and treated the cuts, covering them with a rectangular bandage. Her Slayer powers should help the wound heal very quickly and in a day or so it would be nothing at all.  
  
If all of the strength, and all of the courage  
  
Come and lift me from this place  
  
I know I can love you much better than this  
  
Full of grace, full of grace  
  
But he would still remember, and so would she. Soon she would wake up and either hate him or try and understand what happened. He knew he was going to have to explain himself, but he didn't know how. The demon had taken over him completely, she knew that, but the end result was still the same. He had taken many lives in that short amount of time, and somehow he would have to try to make up for them.  
  
"It's better this way," I said  
  
Having seen this place before  
  
Where everything we say and do  
  
Hurts us all the more  
  
It's just that we stay too long  
  
In the same old sickly skin  
  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
  
I never thought I could feel so low  
  
Oh darkness, I feel like letting go  
  
Sunrise was upon them. Heavy shades covered the windows, but he could still sense it. They were safe for a little while. Spike might come after her, but Buffy would not be harmed. He would make sure of it. Exhaustion slowly overtook him, and he leaned back in his chair, dozing off to sleep.  
  
If all of the strength and all of the courage  
  
Come and lift me from this place  
  
I know I can love you much better than this  
  
Full of grace, full of grace  
  
I know I can love you much better than this  
  
"It's better this way..."  
  
***  
  
Buffy tossed and turned as she slept, images of Angel and his alter-evil Angelus floating through her mind. The two looked the same, but they were two total opposites.  
  
The sound of her movement instantly woke up Angel, still sleeping in the chair beside her, and he watched quietly as she began to wake up. When she did finally open her eyes, she was quite startled to see him looking down at her.  
  
"How did I get here?" she asked quietly, sitting up and looking around the room cautiously.   
  
The last thing she remembered was going into the book cage to check on Angelus and being bitten. How was she to know he had changed back to Angel?  
  
"I brought you here," he told her, careful to keep his distance. She still appeared a little out of it, and he didn't want to take any chances. "How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel a little bit dizzy," Buffy confessed, careful not to make it sound like more than it was. "I'll be fine, though," she added and he nodded. "What do you want and why did you bring me here?"  
  
"What do you remember?"  
  
"I remember going into the book cage to check on you and getting bit on the neck," she said smartly, feeling around on her neck to see if there were any marks. Finding the bandage, she was even more curious as to what had happened.  
  
"Why did you bring me here?" she repeated, sitting cross-legged with her back against the wall.  
  
"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Angel said softly.   
  
She was scared of him. The realization of that was like a knife through his heart. She was scared to death of what he might do to her. What he might have done already.  
  
"Did you-Did you change me?" she managed to croak out, running her hands over her face to make sure everything was normal.  
  
"No. Tomorrow you'll be good as new," he assured her.  
  
"Why? I mean, you had the opportunity. Why didn't you? That's what you've been after since the start. You wanted to hurt me like you did Drusilla. Why didn't you?"  
  
He was acting very strangely. The vampires she had come across before would have already attacked yet he just sat there, watching her. What was so different this time?  
  
"Because I'm not Angelus."  
  
*The song used is Sarah McLachlan's "Full Of Grace" from the album Surfacing.* 


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4  
  
"I send my best  
  
'Cause God knows  
  
You've seen my worst"  
  
-Ben Folds Five, "Fair"  
  
"You changed back?" Buffy asked quietly, careful not to be taken in by his lonesome appearance. They had tried to trick her before, and she wasn't going to let that happen again.  
  
"Yes."   
  
His answer was short and simple. If only she could believe it.  
  
"How am I supposed to believe that? Earlier today you were trying to kill me, now you want to help me live. It's a little much to handle in one day."  
  
"Yes, it is," he agreed. "I can't prove it to you. You only have to try and trust me."  
  
She looked at him as if he had just grown another head. "And you think that's really gonna happen anytime soon?"  
  
Angel looked down at the floor. Things weren't going very well. He had to make her believe. Suddenly, an idea came to him and he got up and strode over to the door, opening it for her.  
  
She looked at him quizzically and he said, "I'm not going to hold you here. If you want to go, go."  
  
***  
  
"You're seriously going to let me go?" she asked him in disbelief.  
  
"If you want to, yes."  
  
She gave him a look that said she thought he was joking and he moved over to the one window in his apartment, lifting the corner of the shade up carefully. The bright sunlight blinded him and he quickly dropped the cover back over it before blinking a few times and turning back to Buffy.  
  
"It's still daylight out and all you have to do is make it up the stairs and out the door. Once you're there, I won't be able to go out after you."  
  
"All right," Buffy said, deciding to play along. He seemed sincere enough, but you could never tell with demons. They were a pretty fickle bunch.  
  
She slowly stood up and walked across the apartment to the door, pausing to look behind her. Angel still stood beside the window, watching her motionlessly. So far, so good.   
  
'Only a little bit more,' she thought, cautiously stepping through the doorway, bounding up the stairs and out the main door.  
  
When he was sure she was gone, Angel let out a loud sigh and lowered his head into his hands. Things were not going at all as he had planned. He only hoped she'd believed what he said...  
  
***  
  
Outside, Buffy leaned against the door in confusion. He hadn't tried to come after her. Did that mean he really was Angel or he was just playing games with her? She needed to talk to Giles...  
  
***  
  
Giles woke up with a start when he heard someone knocking at his front door. Looking around the room, he realized he must have fallen asleep at his desk. He was so tired the night before he didn't even make it to bed. 'Well, that's what a crisis can do to you,' he told himself.  
  
The person at the door knocked again and he called out, "I'm coming!" adjusting his glasses before answering it. "Buffy, where have you been? You had all of us worried to death. Your mother called, but Willow told her you were sleeping at her house and she didn't want to wake you..."  
  
"I'm fine, Giles," she assured him. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Yes, of course." He stepped back to allow her inside.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"What can I do for you?" he asked, closing the door behind her.  
  
"I need your help, Giles. Angel took me back to his place and when I woke up, he told me he had changed back to himself. Is this true or just another one of his plans because if it is-"  
  
"Buffy. Buffy!" He interrupted her tirade. "Angel was right. He did turn back."  
  
"Wait a sec." She put up a hand to stop him. "You mean-You're saying the ritual... worked?"  
  
"Yes, Buffy, it did." 


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5  
  
"I want more than a touch, I want you to reach me  
  
And show me all the things no one else can see"  
  
-Blues Traveler, "Runaround"  
  
Quickly excusing herself, Buffy ran home to apologize to her mother for worrying her before hurrying back over to Angel's apartment. She had showered and changed into a new outfit, which made her feel a lot better. The bite marks were concealed by a scarf tied around her neck, and they were healing nicely just as Angel had said.  
  
The only problem now was what to say to him. She wasn't sure if anything she could say would explain how she was feeling about their current situation, but anything was worth a shot.   
  
She did know this: She wasn't ready to forgive him, not yet. Too much damage had been done and things between them would never be the same again. But that didn't mean she was willing to give up their relationship either.  
  
Hearing a knock at his door, Angel stood up to get it. "Hold on!" Twisting the knob, he was surprised to see her behind it. "Buffy?"  
  
"Angel."   
  
He had changed into a white tee-shirt and black slacks, making him look more like the Angel she knew in the past, and she fought off the urge to take him in her arms and hold him. She knew the anguish he must be going through. He had talked about it before, the things he had done all those years ago. He wasn't proud of any of them.  
  
"Come in." He stood back to let her in and closed the door softly behind her. "What can I do for you?"  
  
She looked at him carefully, not sure how to begin...  
  
***  
  
Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She didn't know what to say. So many things had happened those past months. There was no way to explain how she felt about them.  
  
"Look, Buffy, you don't have to say anything," Angel told her, his eyes looking down at the floor before back up at her. "I don't know how to explain it myself." Turning his head, he moved into the corner of the room and sat down on his bed.  
  
"No, Angel." She sat down next to him, covering his pale hands with hers. On her left hand she wore a small silver ring. His ring. He glanced up at her and he found himself drawn into her sympathetic emerald eyes. "I know what I feel. I just don't know how to say it." Taking a deep breath to help clear her head, she began.  
  
"I know you're sorry for the things you did and that it wasn't your fault. The demon took over your soul and you lost control of your body. I can understand that, sort of." Her brow furrowed in thought, not sure how to continue. "But you still did all those things and, if certain things occur, this could even happen again." She let out a soft sigh, and he looked down at the floor again before back up to her penetrating eyes. "And that's why things can't go back to the way they were between us."  
  
Angel swallowed. "I know," he whispered, thanking whatever God was up there that vampires weren't able to cry. Still, he tried his best to keep his emotions in check.  
  
Now Buffy was the one about to cry. She hated doing this to him.   
  
"I-I still want us to be friends," she said, hoping the idea would cheer him up a little. "For now anyway. I've had about all the change I can take."  
  
He nodded. Her words had given him something to hope for, but he knew if anything ever did happen between them, it would be a long way into the future.   
  
"Of course. I'll always be your friend, Buffy. Never forget that."  
  
"I know." She smiled at him, bringing the faintest glimmer of happiness into his eyes. "Well..." She stood. "I'd better get home. Mom was a little worried when I left so I figured I'd better spend some 'quality time' with her. I'll see you soon?"   
  
He stood up after her, clasping his hands together as was his usual fashion. "Yeah."   
  
They walked together to the door, and gentlemanly, he opened it for her and stood back.  
  
"Well, bye." Standing up on her toes, Buffy gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and walked out the door.  
  
Letting out a relieved sigh, something of habit to vampires, Angel shut the door and leaned back against its cold surface. Closing his eyes, he let all the emotion he had been holding flow into him.   
  
She didn't hate him. But she didn't say she loved him either. That ring had to mean something...  
  
He was so involved in his musings, he never even felt the lone tear sliding down his cheek... 


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6  
  
"You come out at night  
  
That's when the energy comes  
  
And the dark side's light  
  
And the vampires roam"  
  
-Sarah McLachlan, "Building A Mystery"  
  
A few days went by, and Buffy hadn't heard anything from Angel. Needless to say, she was beginning to get a little worried. When she said she wanted them to be friends, she meant it. She knew she could talk to him about anything, and she hoped he felt the same way.  
  
But he had been busy. Wracked with guilt over his 'trip into a past life,' he kept himself hidden in his apartment with his memories and his conscience. It told him the things he should be doing to try to make up for the crimes he committed, and he obeyed. He had taken so many people's lives in those few months, but he went and visited the graves of the ones he could remember: the woman with the cigarette in the alley, Theresa, and Ms. Calendar.  
  
Hers was the one he felt the worst about. She was his friend and Buffy's, too. No matter what pretense she had come under, she had proved a faithful ally to them and earned his respect.   
  
What happened shouldn't have, and it was his fault. She was trying to help him and what did he do? Snapped her neck like a twig and left her as a gag gift in Giles' bed. It was not a joke. If her plan had gone through earlier, it would have saved everyone a lot of torment and her life, as well as many others'.  
  
Angel went to her grave only once, to ask her forgiveness even though he knew she couldn't answer him. He felt it was the honorable thing to do. To show your respect for the dead and pray for God to have mercy on your soul. Even if you are a demon.  
  
***  
  
Another thing he did was a little more selfish. Watch Buffy. He followed her silently during her nightly patrols, making sure she was all right. He didn't want to alert her to his whereabouts, but with Drusilla gone there wasn't much action. Spike was nowhere to be seen, and he didn't know what to think about that.  
  
One of these nights, things were different. Buffy, Giles, Willow, and Xander gathered around Ms. Calendar's grave and stood there, talking quietly amongst themselves about the times they best remembered her by. It was the one-month anniversary of her passing and they wanted to bring as much good to it as possible.   
  
Angel watched carefully from the bushes as Giles reminisced about how she was always trying to get him to "move into the twentieth century, Rupert." Willow remarked that she was her favorite teacher and a good mentor for her students, and Xander muttered something about how she made him come to school on a Saturday and work on computers when he should have been sleeping in. Buffy was the only one silent.  
  
"I just wish I could have gotten to know her better," she told them, shrugging her shoulders. The last few weeks she shared with the teacher were strained, to say the least, and it made her sorry to think she had been so hard on the woman when all she wanted was to help her. "She found Angel's cure, but it cost her her life."  
  
All were silent as they looked at her sympathetically. Giles was the first to speak.  
  
"Buffy, it wasn't-"  
  
"I know. It wasn't my fault. I still feel guilty, though. It was my fault he changed in the first place, though."  
  
From his carefully hidden spot behind the bushes, Angel listened intently. 'Buffy, it wasn't your fault,' he thought to himself. 'I should have known better.' But he couldn't say anything to her. Not here.  
  
"It's getting late. We should go," Giles told the teens, but Buffy wanted to stay.  
  
"Don't worry! I'll be fine," she assured them, waving her hands in dismissal. "Go. I'll see you later."  
  
"Be careful, Buff," Xander cautioned her as they walked by.   
  
"I will," she said, nodding her head as she watched them leave. Waiting a moment to make sure they were gone, she called out, "Okay. I know you're out there. Come on."  
  
***  
  
Buffy wandered around the cemetery cautiously, checking for signs of vampire life. She had picked up one with her slayer senses, but couldn't quite place it.  
  
"Come out, come out wherever you are," she called softly, glancing around the dark yard. Bushes grew everyone, making for many good hiding spots, and she was pretty sure this was just one. If there were more, she would have sensed it.  
  
She heard a sudden rustling behind her and turned around to check on it. A tall, dark figure appeared from behind the hedges and ran off into the darkness.  
  
"Angel." 


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7  
  
"I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you  
  
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you"  
  
-Fleetwood Mac, "Silver Springs"  
  
Angel stepped into his apartment, quickly shutting the door behind him and took off his jacket, throwing it onto the footrest in front of his easy chair. Sitting down, he dropped his head between his hands and sighed. She had seen him. He was sure of it.  
  
He didn't know why he was so upset. He'd watched her before, before all of this happened. She was aware of it, and didn't mind, but this time it was different. Things were different between them. She might not appreciate being followed around by one of her ex's. Especially one that tried to kill her.  
  
There was a knock at the door and he knew it was her. She had come to ask him why he was following her, why he wouldn't talk to her. He didn't know how to tell her it was because he loved her. He loved her more than life itself.  
  
Buffy stood impatiently outside the door and when he didn't open it, yelled out, "Angel!"   
  
Again, he didn't answer, but she knew he could hear her. She sensed him there and it was still early. There was no possible way he could be asleep. Finally, enough was enough, and turned the doorknob with all her might, breaking the lock and stepping inside.  
  
He turned around to look at her, and what she saw horrified her. His normally pale coloring had reddened, and his eyes had done the same. His normally spiky hair was disheveled, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.   
  
"Angel!" she exclaimed, kneeling down in front of him, her hands gently caressing his face. Her touch felt comforting to him, but he lifted his head away.  
  
"You shouldn't be here, Buffy," he told her. "It's not good for you to be near me."   
  
"Angel, what's wrong? Please tell me," she pleaded with him.  
  
"I'm fine," he declared, standing up.   
  
His body swayed back and forth suddenly, and he wasn't able to regain his balance. Shaking her head, Buffy draped an arm around him and led him over to his bed.  
  
"Sure you are," she murmured, helping him take off his shoes and then get under the covers. "Try to rest, Angel." He looked like he needed it.  
  
Buffy sat down on the edge of his bed and watched as he shut his eyes and tried to follow her orders. "Guess the past few days have been pretty hard for you too, huh?" she asked softly, her fingers playing with the short hair on the back of his neck.   
  
But he had already fallen asleep... 


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8  
  
"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul  
  
I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire  
  
The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do"  
  
-Sarah McLachlan, "Do What You Have To Do"  
  
The next afternoon, Buffy stopped by Angel's apartment to see how he was doing. She meant to check on him during her lunch period but Giles distracted her. He wanted to know if she was prepared to face Spike, should he decide to avenge Drusilla.  
  
"No worries. I can take him," she had assured him, smiling.   
  
Angel was back and, at the moment, he was all she cared about. She didn't tell anyone what happened the night before but she hadn't thought it that serious. She was wrong.  
  
"Angel?" Buffy called out, knocking on his door. Not hearing any answer, she tried the knob and finding it unlocked, went inside.   
  
'Guess you don't have to worry that much about burglars if you're a vampire,' she thought to herself.  
  
Scanning the apartment quickly, she saw a man's form asleep in the bed in the corner. 'It's daylight outside,' she remembered, shaking her head at how easily she had forgotten. Angel always slept during the day.  
  
'I just want to check and see if he's okay. I don't think he'd mind if I woke him.'  
  
Creeping over to the bed, she was shocked at what she saw. A good night and day's sleep certainly hadn't helped because he looked worse than he had before. His face was red now, completely, and when she touched his forehead, she was surprised to feel that it was burning up.  
  
"Angel?" She shook his shoulders gently, trying to rouse him, but the vampire wouldn't wake up.   
  
"That's it. I'm calling Giles," she said, grabbing the phone and dialing the library number.  
  
***  
  
At the school, Giles was reading over his notes on Spike, trying to find a pattern to his killings in case he should in fact come after the slayer. No matter what Buffy thought, it was always good to be prepared.  
  
The phone rang and he reached out to answer it, not taking his eyes off the text. "Hello?"  
  
"Giles, could a vampire have a fever?" Buffy's voiced asked over the line.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Just answer me," she said impatiently, looking over at Angel's sleeping form.  
  
"No, Buffy." Giles continued reading his book. "Vampires' bodies are dead. There is no possible way for one to have a fever."  
  
"Then I've got news for you because Angel most certainly does," she told him smartly.  
  
Giles' head snapped up. "What? Are you sure?"   
  
"Positive," the slayer answered, moving over to stand beside the bed. "I felt his forehead and he's burning up. His face is red, too."  
  
"I'll be right over," Giles said, putting down the receiver. Slamming his book shut, he raced out of the library.  
  
***  
  
When he got to the apartment, Giles anxiously knocked on the door. Buffy, who had been pacing now for over ten minutes due to his outdated car, hurriedly opened the door and directed him to a still sleeping Angel.  
  
"I tried waking him up but he didn't respond," she informed the watcher, who looked down at him and felt the vampire's cheek carefully. She was right, he did have a fever.  
  
"Well, what are we going to do?"  
  
Giles looked at the girl in front of him in wonder. He usually had all the answers, or he could find them, but in this case?  
  
"I haven't the faintest clue." 


	10. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9  
  
"She gives me love  
  
Love, love, love  
  
Crazy love"  
  
-Aaron Neville, "Crazy Love"  
  
"What do you mean you don't know? Aren't watchers supposed to know all sorts of stuff? Giles, you're a librarian. You've read all those books."  
  
Giles could tell Buffy was very frustrated by his statement, but there had never been a case like this before. It was true, he didn't know what to do.  
  
"Buffy, vampires falling ill isn't something I was trained for. In fact, it's quite impossible. Illness is caused by germs in one's environment and the body's reaction to them but a vampire's body is not alive so they aren't harmed... usually."  
  
Letting out a large sigh, Buffy ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Giles was clueless, so where did that leave Angel?  
  
"Okay. Then why does Angel have one?"  
  
The watcher shook his head, perplexed. "I don't know."  
  
***  
  
Buffy spent the rest of the day in the apartment, watching over Angel's bedside. His condition hadn't changed and he remained in a deep sleep until around eleven o'clock that evening when he finally woke up.  
  
He blinked a few times before his mind cleared enough to focus. When he realized he was safe at home, he noticed a very unusual thing. Buffy was there with him.   
  
"Buffy?" he asked groggily.   
  
He felt very odd, cold but at the same time extremely warm. It was something he hadn't experienced in hundreds of years, since he was human.  
  
"Hey," she said quietly, forcing herself to smile for his benefit. Giles had spent some time at the library going over his books but come up with nothing. She had finally sent him home and told him to get some rest. He had a job to go to, after all. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Cold," he answered, shivering involuntarily.   
  
His whole body seemed to be acting against him. The only thing he couldn't understand was why?   
  
Buffy stood up and pulled the blanket up over his arms and up to his chin. "Better?"  
  
"A little. What happened? Why are you here?"   
  
He wasn't complaining but why wasn't she at home? It was, after all, a school night.   
  
"Angel, you're sick," she told him, checking his forehead again. Still warm.  
  
"What?" Pushing himself up with his arms, Angel sat up and leaned against his pillow. "Vampires don't get sick."  
  
"Yeah, well you did," she told him, her maternal instincts kicking in. "And you still are. Do you want me to get you anything? You haven't eaten in over twenty-four hours. Do you want me to get you... anything?"  
  
She looked at him, not sure of what to say, and he shook his head. "Could you get me a glass of water? Tap's fine and there are some glasses in the cabinet."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Getting up, Buffy walked over to Angel's small makeshift kitchen and got a small glass of water. Bringing it back to him, she watched quietly as he took small sips until the glass was emptied.  
  
"Thanks," he said, handing it back to her. For the moment, Buffy put it on the floor beside her and went back to her patient. "You know," he told her. "You remind me a lot of my mother."  
  
Buffy smiled and gently pushed the hair off his forehead. "Really?" she asked, intrigued.  
  
Maybe she didn't know how much her touch affected him, or maybe she did, but it took Angel a while to answer. "She was a very headstrong woman who wouldn't let anyone push her around."  
  
"And that's how you think of me?"  
  
Angel smiled weakly at her and nodded. "'The definition of an iron fist in a velvet glove.' That's what my father called her," he said drowsily. "She would have liked you." His eyelids started to droop, and Buffy could tell he was getting tired.  
  
"Why don't you lie down and try to get some sleep?" she suggested, helping him lie down. "I'll be here when you wake up."  
  
Closing his eyes, Angel nodded against his pillow. He was feeling a bit tired.  
  
"Yeah, she would have liked you," he murmured before falling back asleep... 


	11. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10  
  
"You won't be on your own; I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you  
  
I'll stand by you; Won't let nobody hurt you; I'll stand by you  
  
Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you"  
  
-The Pretenders, "I'll Stand By You"  
  
Buffy woke up to a crick in the neck and a loud knocking at the door. It took her a while to wake up, and then she realized she must have fallen asleep in Angel's apartment.   
  
"Ouch."  
  
She grimaced when she sat up. Sleeping while sitting in a chair with your head resting on a bed wasn't exactly the best way to get some shut-eye.   
  
The knocking came again, this time louder and more insistent, and she got up to answer it. "Who is it?"  
  
"Giles," a muffled voice replied from the other side.   
  
Buffy opened the door to find her watcher standing outside the doorway, his arms piled high with various items. "Giles, what is all this stuff?"   
  
"I wasn't able to find anything in my books, but I did bring over the necessities, things all humans need when they're sick. I thought maybe you might be able to use some of it." He put the pile down on a small wooden table, a replacement for the one Kendra destroyed, and Buffy bent over to search through it.   
  
"Blankets, thermometer, antibiotics, McDonald's food?"  
  
"That, uh, is for us."  
  
"'Us'? Giles, you have to go to work. I'll stay here and keep an eye on Angel, and if anything happens I'll call you, okay?"  
  
"But, Buffy-"  
  
"Giles..."  
  
The man knew there was no reason to argue with the girl and reluctantly backed down. "I'll tell the office your mother called to say you were sick."   
  
"Thank you. I called my mom last night and told her I was going to stay at Willow's for a while so that shouldn't be a problem."  
  
Giles nodded and moved back to the doorway. "Buffy, I'm proud that you're able to do this for Angel considering..."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "I haven't forgotten. I'm just trying to learn how to forgive."   
  
Nodding again, Giles headed out the door.  
  
***  
  
"Willow!" Xander called, spotting a head of long, auburn hair. Willow stopped at the side of the hallway and waited for him to catch up with her. "Hey, Will. Have you seen Buffy today? I thought maybe we could all sit together at lunch."  
  
Willow shook her head. He stopped her just to ask her that?  
  
"Not yet. I'm supposed to meet Oz, but I'll go with you to the library to check on her first if you want."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
The pair walked down the corridor and through the swinging double doors into the school library. It seemed quiet, even for a library, and they were instantly suspicious.   
  
"Hello? Is anyone here?" Xander asked curiously, walking in a large circle around the room.   
  
"Let's go check Giles' office," Willow suggested and he followed her to the door. "Hello?" she asked politely, knocking on the glass window that read 'LIBRARIAN.'   
  
"Is he in there?" Xander asked anxiously, craning his neck to look. They only had a little less than half an hour to eat, and he didn't want to spend all of it in the library when it was a beautiful day outside.   
  
Willow peered through the distorted glass and saw a dark image of someone at Giles' desk. "There's someone in there at his desk. It looks like he's asleep."   
  
"Well, wake him up!" Xander told her, banging on the glass with his fist. "Giles!"  
  
Giles sat up with a jolt and readjusted his glasses, standing up and stepping out of his office. He closed the door behind him and turned around to face the teens.   
  
"Napping on the job, G?" Xander observed, shaking his head in disdain. "Tsk, tsk. Anything interesting happen last night that we should know about?"  
  
"We're looking for Buffy," Willow explained, rolling her eyes at her friend. He could be so annoying at times.  
  
"She's, uh, at Angel's apartment. Apparently, he's feeling a little bit under the weather so she offered to look after him."   
  
"Angel? The guy who tried to use her as a human juice box?" Xander asked in disbelief.   
  
"I thought vampires were immune to illness," Willow said, ignoring his last comment.   
  
"Yes, well Angel seems to have proven that theory incorrect. He's had a very bad fever for the last couple of days, and she wanted to keep an eye on him."   
  
"We've gotta go find her," Xander told them, starting toward the door.   
  
"Xander, wait. Angel's been in bed for the past thirty-six hours, and his condition doesn't seem to be getting any better. I don't think Buffy's in any immediate danger being around him. I will be going over there later this afternoon. If you want to come back after last period, I'd be glad to take you. Until then, go to class."  
  
"We will," Willow answered for him. "Thank you."   
  
Xander gave her a surprised look, and she said, "Come on," taking his arm and dragging him down to the cafeteria... 


	12. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11  
  
"All of those people  
  
They look from the outside in  
  
You know them too well  
  
But do they fear your nightmares?"  
  
-Sponge, "All This And Nothing"  
  
When there came a knock on Angel's door at four o'clock in the afternoon, Buffy knew it was Giles and opened it for him. Little did she know Willow and Xander were with him, and she was pleasantly surprised when she saw them.  
  
"Hi," she said softly. "Did Giles tell you what happened?"  
  
Willow nodded. "We dropped by your house and brought some clothes and stuff over. Don't worry, your mom wasn't home. Is he any better?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "No. He's sleeping right now. That's all he's been doing for the past couple days. He's woken up a few times but he's still really tired. He won't eat anything either. He just drinks a lot of water."  
  
"Well, fluids are good when you're sick, right?"   
  
Buffy shrugged but Giles answered, "We don't know if that is the same for vampires."  
  
"Hey, blood's a fluid," Xander quipped. Willow shot him a look of daggers, and he decided to shut up.   
  
"Did you take his temperature?" Giles asked curiously. He wondered if this would actually work with the undead.  
  
"Yep. Broke the thermometer. Guess we know he's dead."  
  
"I'm going to check on him," Giles told the teens, moving over to the other side of the apartment.  
  
Crossing her arms over her chest, Buffy went to follow him with Willow but Xander stood still. He still wasn't sure about this.   
  
"Hey, guys? Is this thing contagious? 'Cause I've still got to go to school tomorrow and I don't want to give Vampire Disease to anyone. Except maybe Cordelia..." He grinned.  
  
"Xander, shut up!" Willow hissed. She was fed up with his antics.   
  
"Okay, okay." He trudged across the room and stood beside the two girls. Giles was right. Angel did look pretty bad. "So what do we do?"  
  
Giles took off his glasses and cleaned the lenses with his handkerchief before putting them back on. "Well, I think the water may have helped a little to control his temperature but I would recommend feeding him... immediately."  
  
He could tell from the expression on everyone's faces that wasn't the right thing to say but Buffy braved it out and said, "Let me check the fridge."  
  
She went over to the appliance and opened the large, white door, peeking inside. She tried to prepare herself for finding hospital blood packets but, as it turned out, there was nothing inside.  
  
"Giles, there's nothing in here."   
  
"What?"  
  
Her watcher came over and she showed him what she meant. "It's empty."   
  
***  
  
"Okay, Giles, now what do we do?" Xander asked, looking at the man expectantly.  
  
"Well, the refrigerator was empty so now we have to find another blood source."  
  
"Okay, let me just say, 'Gross!'" the boy exclaimed, grimacing.  
  
"Giles is right," Buffy agreed. "But where do we get it? We can't just go order a few packets and delivery day is Monday. Today's Thursday. Not saying I'd want to go swipe some..."  
  
"Isn't there any alternative?" Willow asked, trying to think of a way around it.  
  
"Vampires can feed on small animals like rats and such," Giles offered by way of suggestion.   
  
"No," Buffy disagreed with this idea. "Angel hasn't eaten in almost forty-eight hours. A few rats aren't going to help him. We need something bigger."  
  
"Bigger?" Willow didn't like the sound of this. "Like what?"  
  
"Like me." 


	13. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12  
  
"You alone are the living thing  
  
That keeps me alive"  
  
-Jennifer Love Hewitt, "Don't Throw It All Away"  
  
"Wait a sec. Time out." Xander put his hands up in the shape of a 'T.' "You want to feed yourself to Angel. Buffy, are you out of your mind!? Last time we almost needed the jaws of life to get you out of his grip."  
  
"No. I just don't want to see him die, Xander," she retorted crossly.  
  
"Buff, the guy's a human pitbull," he tried to convince her. But she wouldn't listen.  
  
"In this case I'd have to agree with him, Buffy," the watcher concurred. "Offering yourself to Angel would be very dangerous and he's already fed on you before. This time would be a lot worse."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "Guys, I don't think Angel would be too keen on the idea either, but this is the only chance we have to help him. He's not going to get any better if we just sit here and do nothing. I want to try this."  
  
"I think we should let her try," Willow said, finally joining the conversation. "Buffy's been with him throughout all of this, and this is the only thing she could think of to help him so I say we give it a chance."  
  
"Thank you, Willow." Buffy looked at the others, awaiting their reply.  
  
Giles sighed. "If I tell you not to, you'll do it anyway so we might as well give it a shot."  
  
"Hey, I'm still against this," Xander told his friends, crossing his arms over his chest. Buffy looked at him sadly, and he immediately began to feel guilty. "Just be careful, okay?"  
  
She nodded. "Of course. I just want to talk to him for a minute, okay?"  
  
The group watched as she traversed the room and sat down by Angel's bedside...  
  
***  
  
"Angel?" Buffy whispered softly, caressing his cheek with her fingers. "Angel, wake up."  
  
His eyelids slowly fluttered open and he looked at her through partly closed eyes. "Buffy?" His voice came out as barely a whisper.  
  
"Hi." She smiled at him to try and assure him nothing was wrong. "I want to talk to you for a second. Do you think you could sit up?"  
  
He nodded and she pushed the pillow against the wall, helping him up. She was right. He wasn't getting any better. This was their last chance.  
  
"Angel, Giles is here. He brought Willow and Xander, too. They want to help you. Giles says you should eat something."  
  
He began to shake his head and swallowed before speaking. "I don't want to," he croaked. "No more blood."  
  
Buffy tried her best to hold back the tears that started welling up in her eyes. "Angel, you have to eat something. You haven't had anything in almost forty-eight hours and you need to keep your strength up so you can get better. Please?"  
  
His dark brown eyes looked into hers and she could swear she saw tears in them. 'But vampire's don't cry...'  
  
"I got rid of all the blood," he swallowed, "a few days ago."   
  
"So you haven't eaten anything in over three days?" she asked frantically.   
  
This plan needed to work. He didn't have much time left.  
  
He shook his head. "I don't want to."  
  
Buffy carefully smoothed his hair back away from his forehead and sighed. "Angel, we couldn't get any more for you so you're going to have to feed off me."  
  
"No." He began to shake his head fervently but she stopped him and lifted his chin so they were looking straight into one another's eyes.  
  
"Just a little, Angel. Please?" She was begging him. "I need you to get better. Okay?"  
  
He blinked, the tears now flowing freely from his chocolate brown eyes, and nodded slowly. He understood there wasn't any other way.  
  
Buffy nodded to the rest of the group, who were watching them intently. They came over to surround the bed.   
  
"We're going to do it." 


	14. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13  
  
"I've been dropped out, burned up  
  
Fought my way back from the dead  
  
Tuned in, turned on  
  
Remembered the things that you said"  
  
-Edwin McCain Band, "I'll Be"  
  
Angel looked at the people around him groggily. His head was in a fog, and he had trouble focusing. The only thing he knew was Buffy was with him and she wanted him to survive.  
  
Buffy climbed onto the bed and sat in front of Angel, careful not to hurt him. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and remained perfectly still.  
  
"I'm ready."  
  
Angel struggled to get up and when he gained his balance, gently brushed the hair away from the base of her neck. He felt a knot in his stomach just thinking about drinking blood again. Drinking hers would be much worse, but he had to do it. She asked him to do it because she wanted him to live.  
  
Leaning forward to her ear, he whispered, "I love you, Buffy," before putting on his game face and sticking his fangs into her neck...  
  
***  
  
Buffy gasped quietly as Angel's fangs sank into the soft flesh of her neck. She could feel the blood being slowly drained out of her veins and herself start to lose consciousness. But Angel kept a good grip on her and held her up when she felt about ready to fall over. He drank thirstily from her and didn't show any signs of giving up. After a few minutes, when Buffy was about ready to pass out, Giles and Xander stepped in and managed to separate the two.  
  
Giles picked up the girl and carried her over onto the couch, gently lying her down. Willow came over with a piece of gauze from the first aid kit Giles had brought that morning and bandaged her cuts while Xander watched.   
  
"Go to sleep, Buffy," she told her friend, smiling. "We'll watch after Angel for you."   
  
Deciding not to argue, Buffy nodded and immediately fell asleep. Being vampire food definitely was tiring.  
  
Giles helped Angel lie back down and urged the vampire to go back to sleep. "Buffy will be fine in a few hours," he assured him. "Try to rest." The vampire was overwhelmingly tired and had no choice but to obey.  
  
"How is she?" he asked as Willow and Xander came up beside him.  
  
"She's sleeping," replied Xander quietly. "How is he?"  
  
Giles looked at the sleeping form in front of him. "Well, his color looks a lot better." He felt Angel's forehead with the back of his hand. "His fever appears to have gone down a bit, too. I'd say Buffy's plan worked."  
  
"Uh, guys?"  
  
The two men stopped talking and turned to look at her. She stood beside them, her eyes wide open.   
  
"Yes, Willow?" Giles asked, concerned. The girl looked like she had seen a ghost. Not to mention the fact she had once been one...  
  
Willow was speechless for a moment and nodded to Angel. "Look."   
  
The two turned around again and their jaws dropped open when they saw what she was looking at. Angel slept peacefully, deep in slumber, his eyes shut and his mouth curved in the tiniest of smiles, despite everything that had happened. The one thing that stuck out the most, though, was... he was breathing. 


	15. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14  
  
"Don't you think you've got enough?  
  
Well, maybe..."  
  
-Pearl Jam, "All Those Yesterdays"  
  
Giles sank into Angel's easy chair and let out a large sigh. This case was the most peculiar he had seen in all his years as a watcher. None of his education, training, or real-life work had given him any idea of what to do in this type of situation.   
  
Vampires becoming ill? Surviving without feeding for extended periods of time? Breathing? It was preposterous, to say the least. But then again, so was a vampire having a soul or any ability to feel human emotion, which Angel did.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Willow asked nervously, glancing at the two men before her. "If Angel is alive, Buffy should know about it."  
  
"We don't know if he is alive, Willow," Giles informed her. "Remember, vampires do express certain human characteristics such as sighing and panting at times, but that doesn't mean any of them are alive. This could just be a habit for Angel."  
  
"Giles, he wasn't breathing before," Willow pointed out. "Besides, what you said is true, but would Angel still be able to breathe subconsciously in his sleep?"  
  
Giles nodded and began to stroke his chin in thought. She had a point. After feeding on Buffy, Angel's condition visibly improved and he began breathing. It was obvious from the way his chest rose and fell with each intake of air. The only question was why? And how long would it last?  
  
Other vampires had fed on slayers before. Spike himself had killed two. This didn't mean any of them started breathing. Why was this time different?  
  
Watching the older man, Xander thought about it himself. If Angel was alive, how could he possibly compete? The only real advantage he had, besides the fact Angelus had done so many terrible deeds, was that he was alive. He was living and breathing and dependable in any situation. Buffy could call on him day or night. What would happen if the same suddenly became true for Angel, too? Where would that leave him?  
  
Angelus' crimes were horrific, but Xander was sure that over time, Buffy would forgive him. The situation was almost the same before, and she had done just that. The things might have hit closer to home this time, but who was to say they were any worse than anything he had done previous to his first restoration?   
  
Buffy knew the same thing could happen again if she and Angel got too close, but if he was indeed alive, that might not be true. And Xander might lose his chance for good.  
  
"I don't think we should wake up Buffy," he said, breaking the others from their thoughts. "I mean, not yet. We don't have all the facts and we don't want to get her hopes up, do we?"  
  
Willow glared at him. She'd known him long enough to know exactly what he was thinking, and he instantly tried to amend his last remark.  
  
"We should let her sleep, anyway. She seemed pretty wiped."  
  
"Yes, perhaps Xander is right," Giles said, agreeing with the teen. "Buffy has been through a lot and deserves to get some sleep. We should wait a few hours to wake her and then tell her what we know."  
  
Willow couldn't believe it. The thing Buffy wanted the most in life could finally be coming true and they wanted to wait to tell her? Not if she could help it. Buffy deserved happiness and that involved Angel, no matter what she or anyone else said.  
  
"Giles, put yourself in her position. If the same thing happened to you, would you want to know immediately or would you rather we waited until we were sure of all the facts?"  
  
The watcher thought through that suggestion and immediately came to a decision. If Jenny was dead and had been changed to a vampire, with a chance to come back to life, would he want Buffy to wait to tell him or would he want to know as soon as she did, no matter what the consequences?   
  
"We should wake Buffy just to let her know what's happened," he finally decided. "Then we can all decide what to do from there."  
  
Smiling at her success, Willow nodded and stood up to get Buffy, leaving Xander to stare silently after her... 


	16. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15  
  
"If I could touch you, again with my fingers so gently  
  
If I could feel you, breathing in time next to me"  
  
-Donna Lewis, "Silent World"  
  
"So you think Angel's breathing because he fed off me, but you don't know why?"  
  
Buffy sat up cross-legged and wrapped in a blanket on Angel's couch with Giles, Willow, and Xander around her. They had woken her up and tried to explain their present situation to her, leaving her baffled.  
  
"Yes, that's about it." Giles nodded. "The only thing we can't figure is why? Vampires have fed on slayers before, but none of them starting breathing."  
  
"Yeah, but did they feed on them or just drain them?" Buffy asked curiously, holding the blanket tighter around herself. She still wasn't feeling completely better, but the little bit of time she spent sleeping had helped.  
  
"Hmm. I didn't think of that. I'll have to consult my books."   
  
Giles thought this idea over in his head and Willow looked at Xander triumphantly. Her idea to wake Buffy in case she could be of any help to them was already paying off.  
  
Yawning, Buffy nodded, and Giles took that as a sign that they should leave. He had work to do, anyway.  
  
"We should be going," he announced, standing up. "Come on, children." He received angry looks from both Willow and Xander at the word 'children.' "We'll come by to check on you and Angel tomorrow, Buffy, after school. I'll make sure the office knows you're still feeling a little bit under the weather."  
  
"Thanks." Buffy stood, still holding the blanket around herself, and followed them to the door. "Thanks a lot for everything, guys."  
  
"No problem, Buff," Xander told her, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. He might as well let things happen the way they would instead of trying to interfere.  
  
Willow stopped to give her friend a hug. "Good luck," she whispered into her ear.  
  
Buffy smiled weakly and watched as the trio left the apartment and headed back up the stairs. Closing the door, she turned and moved over to stand at Angel's bedside. She watched silently as his chest rose and fell with each breath, signaling some type of life, whether it be vampire or human.  
  
He looked so peaceful, she wished she could stop time and keep it that way forever. Giles was right, he had clearly improved, and looked almost normal. Memories flooded back to her suddenly of lying with him in that bed, oblivious to the rest of the world, content that they had each other...  
  
Shaking her head, Buffy wished those memories away and tried to focus on the issue at hand. Angel was breathing and possibly alive. The thing she had been dreaming about for the past year could finally be coming true. It was almost too much to believe, but she knew better than to question the fates. What would happen would, and there was no way she or anyone else could control it.  
  
Dropping the blanket onto the chair beside her, she silently climbed under the covers and into bed with Angel. Wrapping her arms around him, she closed her eyes and carefully lay her head down on his chest. She could feel each breath he took and hear every time his heart beat inside it. That was the sound that slowly lulled her back to sleep... 


	17. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16  
  
"I want to lay like this forever  
  
Until the sky falls down on me"  
  
-Savage Garden, "Truly, Madly, Deeply"  
  
At around ten thirty the next morning, Angel slowly began to wake up. Stretching out his tired limbs, he noticed someone lying on top of him. Buffy lay there, sound asleep, with her arms wrapped tightly around his upper body and her head resting comfortably on his chest.  
  
It was a very heartwarming moment for Angel, and he watched silently as she stirred and snuggled closer to him. This was the way that night should have gone so many months ago. He should have been there when she woke up, to reaffirm his feelings for her in case she had any doubts or regrets. He would have promised her his love and his life for as long as she would have him and kept that promise until the day he died.  
  
But instead something terrible had happened and his soul was stripped away in punishment for that one night of true happiness. The demon regained its control over him and was able to subdue his soul, burying it someplace deep inside him where it couldn't be found.  
  
He could still feel it, though. Its voice would whisper things in his mind until he thought he would go crazy.   
  
"Find the slayer. She loves you." And finally, "You love her."  
  
He tried distracting himself by going after Drusilla, but nothing could keep his mind off her. She was the one he really wanted.   
  
"You love her."   
  
Those words repeated through his mind hundreds of times a night. Every time he went out for a kill, he prayed to meet her and make her his.  
  
She was a challenge. Pretending to hate her was difficult but not impossible, and every time she got in the way of his plans, he dealt with her accordingly. Taunting her, trying to provoke her into doing something stupid or insane.   
  
But she was too strong to be broken. She was stronger than he was. The fact that she didn't kill him when she had the opportunity to over and over again proved she still loved him, and he used that to his advantage whenever he could, toying with her mind until it seemed useless to keep fighting. But she never gave up, and in the end, good triumphed over evil yet once again.  
  
Angel gently untangled himself from Buffy's grasp, careful not to wake her, and stood up, stretching his tired limbs. He felt like hell. He had been in bed for God knew how many days and not done a thing but sleep. He was ready to get out.   
  
But it was morning and he wouldn't leave Buffy. Not again. She promised to be here for him throughout all of this, and he would do the same for her. So he did the next best thing and went into the bathroom to take a shower.  
  
***  
  
When Buffy woke up, she noticed that she again was left alone in Angel's bed. 'Oh, not again,' she thought to herself, sitting up and swinging her legs so she sat on the edge of the mattress. This was not happening.  
  
A soft click could be heard as the bathroom door closed and Angel stepped out, drying his hair with a towel. He went over to the armoire to grab a shirt, he was only wearing a pair of black slacks and his cross, and she sighed with relief when she saw him.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked, the concern evident on his face. He had only slipped the shirt over his shoulders when he heard her, and everything else ceased to matter but what was wrong.  
  
"No. I'm fine," she assured him, smiling as she looked up at him. His dark hair was still damp and mussed, sticking out in points everywhere, and his shirt hung open revealing his sculpted chest with the tiny gold cross charm hanging in the middle. "So you look like you're feeling better, huh?"  
  
"Definitely," he said, buttoning the shirt up all the way except for the first few. Adjusting the collar, he sat down beside her.  
  
"Hmm..." Placing the back of her hand against his forehead, Buffy checked his temperature. Everything seemed normal. His skin wasn't as cool as always, but it was a lot better than the night before and she was sure things would continue to improve. "Well, everything seems fine. I guess you're cured."  
  
She smiled and he smiled back at her. It was finally over. She didn't have to worry about him dying anymore. Now all she had to think about was if he would live.  
  
"Angel-"  
  
"No, Buffy, wait. Before you say anything, just let me thank you for everything that you did for me. You saved my life, and, although I may not have deserved it, I really appreciate it."  
  
"No, Angel, you deserved it," she told him in all seriousness. "You've saved my life more than a couple times. It was the least that I could do."  
  
He nodded and looked down at the red blanket covering the bed. She felt she owed it to him to save him. Did that mean she didn't love him? She was still wearing his ring...  
  
Taking a deep breath, Buffy began to speak again. "Angel, I need to talk to you. It's about something really important so you need to listen."  
  
"Buffy," he said, not wanting to go into that topic again, "I understand that things can't be the same between us and that you want us to be friends. I respect your decision."  
  
"No, Angel. It's not that." She sighed. "I'm not sure how exactly to explain this. Giles brought Willow and Xander over last night, remember?" He nodded. "Yeah. Well, anyway, after you and I went to sleep, they went to check on you, and you were breathing." He looked at her like he didn't quite understand and she tried to elaborate.   
  
"Angel, we think you might be alive." 


	18. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17  
  
"Feet on ground; Heart in hand  
  
Facing forward; Be yourself  
  
I've-I've never wanted anything  
  
No, I've never wanted anything so bad"  
  
-Jann Arden, "Good Mother"  
  
"Alive?"  
  
The idea of living seemed impossible to Angel. He had his own life already with a soul and a mind of his own, but he never counted on a real one. What if it really was possible?  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Well, Giles says he's never seen a case like yours before. Vampires becoming sick is impossible itself, and then feeding off a slayer and starting to get better, that just makes it more weird. See," she pulled one leg under her and sat on it, "he thinks that my blood somehow helped transform you into a human, although we really don't know if you are one."  
  
"What do you know?"   
  
If there was any way possible for him to become human again, Angel was willing to do whatever it required. Becoming mortal might be the only way, if there was one, for him and Buffy to get back together.  
  
"Well, we know you had a fever for at least two and a half days and a temperature that would kill a normal person. We also know that you became sick after feeding on me the first time and then your condition improved drastically after feeding on me again. You were breathing subconsciously in your sleep, too, and refusing blood, which makes it seem like you are turning human."  
  
Angel listened to her with rapt attention. These facts did make it sound like he was turning into some other kind of being besides a vampire. He just wasn't sure what.  
  
"Giles and the gang are going to come over after school to try and help us out so hopefully we'll be able to figure out something," Buffy informed him. She wanted him to know that she was trying to find out what was going on.  
  
"I'm sorry you had to miss school, Buffy," Angel apologized. Education really was important and she shouldn't have to miss out on anything because of him.  
  
"Forget about it," she said, shrugging it off. "Today's Friday anyway, and I've only missed two days. Giles told the office I was sick so I can just go back Monday. I wasn't going to go back until I knew you were okay. Besides," she grinned, "I am the chosen one. I deserve a vacation. Don't you think?"  
  
Angel smiled weakly and she giggled. It was good to see he was doing better. "What time is it now?" he asked curiously. He hadn't even known the day so no one could blame him if he was a little disoriented.  
  
"Probably around twelve or so," guessed Buffy.  
  
"How do you know?"   
  
She giggled again, and it was like music to his ears. His only wish, if they weren't able to resolve their problems, was to see her happy.   
  
"Because my stomach's growling! It must be lunchtime. I've got my biological clock set pretty well."  
  
"Sorry, I don't think I have anything to offer you..." Angel scratched his head. "My refrigerator's pretty empty."  
  
"I've got a better idea," Buffy told him, grinning...  
  
***  
  
A few minutes later, there came a knock at Angel's door and Buffy went up to answer it. Outside in the hallway was a youngish looking man carrying two boxes of pizza.  
  
"That will be $14, please," the delivery man said politely, trying to catch his breath. It was a little hard finding the place and getting the pizzas there on time.  
  
Buffy looked down to check the watch she had strapped onto her wrist. It was thirty-five minutes past the time she had placed the order. They got their order free! The pizza place had a policy that if your order wasn't there in thirty minutes or under, you would receive it free of charge.  
  
"Um, excuse me," she replied in the same polite tone, "but it's past thirty minutes. We get our order free. I called in at five past," she pointed to the time on the printed out slip attached to the top box, "and it's twelve forty now."  
  
"What?" The man was positive he'd gotten there exactly on time. Checking his watch, he noticed she was in fact correct. He was five minutes late. "Here you go," he said disappointedly, handing her the two boxes.  
  
"Thank you." Buffy took the warm boxes in her arms and thanked the man. "Have a nice day!" Smiling, she closed the door and the man trudged back up the stairs muttering various curses.  
  
"Okay... What've we got here," Buffy murmured, setting the boxes down on Angel's coffee table and taking off the lids. "Anchovies, ew."  
  
Angel came over to stand beside her. "What are you doing?" he asked curiously. She had ordered two pizzas, but didn't even like the things on one of them.  
  
"Well, I didn't know what kind of pizza you like so I just got one cheese and one with the works. That okay?"  
  
Smiling, Angel shook his head and sat down cross-legged next to her. She really was serious about them staying friends. Even if he couldn't have her back as his girlfriend just yet, he was willing to take her anyway he could.  
  
"Here." Buffy handed him a slice. "Dig in. This is what we humans like to call stuffing our faces, a pastime I enjoy as much as I can. Giles keeps me on a pretty tight schedule so it's good to take a break. Mother's has the best pizza anywhere." She took a bite out of her own slice and looked at him.  
  
Looking down at the slice in front of him, Angel saw a mass of cheese and tomato sauce. This is what humans ate nowadays? In all his trips to the Bronze he had never seen anything like this. Still, if Buffy liked it...  
  
Angel bit into the pizza hesitantly, and Buffy was right. It did taste good.   
  
"Mm." He nodded, chewing thoughtfully.  
  
"See, I told you." Buffy laughed as they continued their meal... 


	19. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18  
  
"You lay down beside me  
  
Then you were with me every waking hour"  
  
-Sarah McLachlan, "Wait"  
  
When Giles, Willow, and Xander arrived at the apartment at around three o'clock, they were surprised to see Angel and Buffy up and about like nothing had happened. Both appeared to be in extremely good health and pretty good spirits, too.  
  
"Come in," Buffy said, ushering them through the door before sitting back down on one of the chairs. Angel sat in his easy chair, trying to figure out some possible explanation for the events of the past few days.  
  
"Angel and I were just trying to think of any differences between his feeding on me and the other vampires that have fed on slayers in history. Angel says that he's never heard of a vampire feeding on a slayer, just draining them."  
  
"To the best of my knowledge, anyway," Angel corrected her.   
  
He was careful to be polite to his guests since they all, except for Buffy, were on the lookout in case anything was up. He had completely lost Giles and Xander's trust, not that he ever had any with the younger man. He wasn't sure about Willow.  
  
"Well, there haven't been any recorded incidents," Giles informed them, "but I have come up with a theory as to why Angel has begun this... transformation. I think feeding on Buffy the first time might have begun to change him to a human state, but he didn't take as much blood as was needed. That might have caused the fever if his body was having trouble maintaining a constant temperature. Feeding on her a second time, however, did improve his condition, but we don't know whether he still is a vampire or some sort of human being."  
  
"'Some sort?'" Buffy didn't completely understand what her watcher meant.   
  
"Yes. Uh..." Giles took off his glasses a moment, wiping the lenses with his shirt sleeve before putting them back on again and continuing. "If Angel is changed into a human, we don't know if all his vampire strength will disappear or if it will remain. He is a vampire with a soul so that makes things a little unpredictable. Even this case is since there aren't any vampires with souls documented either."  
  
Buffy had never thought of Angel becoming a normal human, nor losing any of his vampire characteristics. She had always just assumed he would be the same as he was when they first met, just human. Would she have to protect him too now?  
  
"Wouldn't slayer blood allow him to keep his strength?" Willow asked, voicing Buffy's thoughts out loud.  
  
"Yes, it might, or it might not. Buffy is the strongest slayer known to date, but we can't be certain of anything."   
  
Giles himself wasn't certain Angel deserved to be given another chance as a human, but he found himself selfishly intrigued at the idea of being the first man ever to perform the task. This would definitely set a place for him in watcher history.  
  
Angel sat, listening to them quietly. There really was a good chance that he could become human again. He and Buffy would have the chance they so desperately needed. It was too good to be true. Turning his head, he saw Buffy beside him, and she smiled at him. It still amazed him that through everything they'd been through, she was still there for him. But this time as a friend.  
  
"So how do we accomplish this mystical feat?" Xander asked smartly, crossing his arms over his chest. Giles may have the idea, but did he know how to achieve it?  
  
Giles looked down at the floor nervously before turning his eyes to Buffy. Everyone in the room knew what that meant.  
  
"Oh no!" Xander disagreed vehemently, putting his hands up in the air. "No way!" 


	20. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19  
  
"But if things don't work out like we think  
  
And there's nothing there to ease this ache  
  
But if there's nothing there to make things change  
  
If it's the same for you, I'll just hang"  
  
-Matchbox 20, "Hang"  
  
"No way!" Xander shouted, putting his hands up in the air. "We've already been through this, Buff, remember? 'Human juice box' ringing any bells for you?"   
  
Angel put his head down in shame, and Buffy put a hand on his shoulder as she tried to comfort him. She was sorry Xander was making such a big deal out of this. All she was trying to do was help her friend.   
  
"Xander, calm down," Willow asked him quietly, trying not to make a scene.   
  
"Will, can't you see that Buffy's already been through so much? She can't keep acting as Angel's blood bank."   
  
"It wouldn't be a very large amount-" Giles began, trying to make him understand, but Xander wouldn't hear any of it.   
  
"Why do you want this so much?" he asked curiously. "Angel's the one that killed Ms. Calendar. He doesn't deserve a second chance."   
  
The pair began arguing over the late teacher's death and who was to blame, Angelus or Angel, with Willow acting as an innocent bystander, trying to break up the two. Finally, Buffy had had enough.   
  
"Quiet!" she yelled, standing up. "Xander, I appreciate your concern, but I want to do this. Nothing you can say is going to change my mind."   
  
"But, Buffy-" he objected.   
  
"No! Xander, this is important to me. I need to do this. Now you can either respect my decision, or you can go."   
  
Xander was amazed by this and, although he may not have shown it, so was Angel. Was all this for him?   
  
"Fine," the boy said, getting up. "I'll go." And with that, he walked out the door.   
  
Buffy sighed and dropped back down into her seat while Willow went to chase after him, calling out, "Xander, wait!"   
  
"I'm sorry," Angel whispered. Buffy sat beside him, head in hands, as she tried to collect her thoughts, and he put his hands over hers sympathetically.   
  
"It's not your fault," she told him, sitting up and shaking her head. "Xander can be pigheaded well, all the time. He'll get over it."   
  
"Ahem," Giles cleared his throat to let them know he was still in the room. "Are we still planning on finishing this ritual?" Angel looked at Buffy - It was her decision, no matter how badly he wanted it - and she nodded. "Very well. Buffy, you're still a little weak so I'll come back tomorrow morning, and I'll try to bring Willow. Hopefully, this situation with Xander will have improved."   
  
She nodded again and stood with him, helping him to the door. "Thanks."   
  
The librarian/watcher nodded and patted her on the shoulder as he left the apartment. The two of them were left alone once again...   
  
***  
  
"Xander!" Willow called, rushing down the street. She had been chasing him for the last five minutes. Would he ever slow down?   
  
He finally heard her calling his name and stopped, turning around to face her. "Willow, what? What do you want to tell me?"   
  
The wind blew around them gently, and pieces of auburn hair flew into her face and eyes as she spoke. "I want you to understand why we're doing this."   
  
"Oh, I know why," Xander told her dryly. "She loves him." He shrugged nonchalantly as if saying those words didn't matter to him, but it did. "She always has. Even when he was torturing her, deep down somewhere she still did. And now, according to Giles, they can be together again."   
  
"You love her, too," Willow realized. She had always known Xander had a physical attraction to the slayer and that they shared a friendly bond, but she never fully understood the depth of his emotions.   
  
Laughing bitterly, Xander nodded. "Yeah, I do. She's told me over and over again that we can never be anything more than friends, and she's right. We can't. But that doesn't mean I have to help bring Angel back. You can do that without me."   
  
Turning around again, he jogged down the street and around the corner, leaving her staring there behind him... 


	21. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20  
  
"Don't worry, baby  
  
We'll be all right"  
  
-Garbage, "Push It"  
  
Angel stood by the lone window in his apartment, his face looking out through the glass. It was nighttime now - Buffy's friends had left hours ago - and pitch black outside except for the twinkling of the stars and streetlights. By this time tomorrow, if things worked out like they were supposed to, he would be human again.   
  
The thought scared him. He didn't really remember even being human. It was so many years ago he could only recall little bits and pieces of his previous life, jumbled up with the faces of every single person and demon he had ever killed. Killing demons was a lot easier than feeding on humans, but it still registered as taking a life. After all the ones he had taken, had consumed, his own was given back to him.   
  
Humans now lived so differently than when he had been alive. There were all these new inventions and gadgets that would do things instantly instead of manually as they had been done before. Telephones, microwaves, computers. None of these were around two hundred years ago. Things had certainly changed.   
  
A hand came down to gently rest on his shoulder and almost made him jump out of his skin. Turning around, he saw Buffy behind him.   
  
"Sorry," she apologized, wincing. "I didn't mean to scare you."   
  
"That's okay," he said. "I just forgot you were here for a second. I'm not really used to having people around a lot."   
  
She nodded. Angel was a loner, the dark, brooding type. Even though she had spent a lot of time with him even before his 'change,' not a lot of it was in his apartment. The past few days had been a new experience for both of them.   
  
Moving over to the couch, Buffy began to gather up her belongings. As she deposited the various items into her dufflebag, Angel asked, "You're going home?"   
  
She looked up from what she was doing and nodded. "Yeah. I think Mom's starting to get a little bit worried I've overstayed my welcome at 'Willow's' so she said she wants me to come back home tonight. I'll be back tomorrow before Giles and Willow get here, though."   
  
Slinging the now fully packed bag over her shoulder, she walked over to him and enveloped him in a tight hug. He was a little surprised at first but then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him.   
  
"You're gonna be okay," she told him reassuringly. "Everything's going to work tomorrow, and you'll have your life back again."   
  
For some reason, she was very confident the ritual would work. It wasn't because she was sure in Giles' theories - She was - but more because she really wanted this to work out. She had been praying for it for over a year. She'd make it work.   
  
They finally let go of one another, and she repositioned the bag on top of her shoulder. Stepping forward, she opened the door.   
  
"See you in the morning," she said, walking out and closing the door behind her... 


	22. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21  
  
"I will buy you a new life  
  
Yes, I will"  
  
-Everclear, "I Will Buy You A New Life"  
  
The night hours seemed endless, but finally the next morning appeared. Joyce Summers was surprised to see her daughter up and dressed at six A.M. sharp, gulp down breakfast, and out the door by six thirty, a first for a Saturday or any other day.   
  
'That stay at Willow's must have done her some good,' she mused. Her daughter's mood was the best it had been in months, and whatever the cause may be, she was happy for her.   
  
***  
  
Buffy arrived at Angel's a little before seven, the time Giles had selected, and was surprised to see him nibbling on a piece of refrigerated pizza. He still wouldn't drink any blood, but the human food he ate did help a great deal in sustaining him and he found he didn't hunger for blood at all. He'd had cravings for it beforehand, ones he was able to resist, but now they were gone.   
  
"Hey," she greeted her friend cheerfully, dropping onto the couch. "Ready for today?"   
  
"I should ask you the same question," he replied, sitting down beside her. "You really don't have to do this, you know."   
  
"I know."   
  
"Then why are you?"   
  
Angel was curious. She seemed to have forgiven him for everything that happened those past few months, something he himself had been unable to do. What was her secret?   
  
Buffy sighed. She didn't know how to explain this. It was too complicated. The best bet was to be as honest as possible.   
  
"I love you," she said quietly.   
  
Angel could feel his heart leap into his throat. What was she saying?   
  
"...You're one of my best friends, Angel. I owe it to you to help in whatever way I can."   
  
As his heart settled back into his chest, Angel nodded. So far, she wasn't budging from her position.   
  
'We'll see about that,' he thought.   
  
A knock on the door interrupted them, and Buffy got up to get it, grateful for the break in conversation. Speaking about that made her feel very uncomfortable. She wasn't sure exactly what her feelings toward Angel were. For now, though, friendship would be it.   
  
"Hi," she said, opening the door to find Giles and Willow behind it. "Come on in."   
  
The pair walked inside, and Buffy closed the door quietly. It was really happening. Angel could become human again.   
  
"Are you two ready?" the watcher asked, eager to begin. If things worked correctly, he wanted to give them time to take Angel outside while it was still light out.   
  
Buffy nodded. Acting as spokeswoman for Angel, she stated, "Let's do it." 


	23. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22  
  
"Baby, come back; Make yourself whole  
  
Baby, come home; Choke your medicine down  
  
Choke the medicine down; Choke the medicine... down"  
  
-Orbit, "Medicine"  
  
"How are you feeling, Buffy?" Giles asked curiously.   
  
He was sitting beside her as he drained the blood they would need to conduct this experiment. Instead of having Angel feed on her, which wasn't the best idea considering how hard it was to get him off her the last time, he had simply taken some blood using a syringe and other medical supplies. That would also make the puncture easier to hide.   
  
"Oh, I feel great," she muttered sarcastically. "Are we done yet?"   
  
Her fear of hospitals was slowly coming back to her. Needles were even worse than vampires. She would have much preferred being fed on.   
  
"There."   
  
Removing the needle from her underarm, he handed her a bandage before continuing. First, he poured the red liquid into a large container. From there, he opened a vial from his coat pocket and poured a clear liquid into the container, swirling the object around to mix the two.   
  
"What's that?" Buffy hadn't heard about this step of the experiment before.   
  
"Holy Water," Giles informed her. "This should kill the demon if your blood doesn't."   
  
"Yeah, well don't tell Angel about that. I don't think he'd want to swallow a glass full of fire water, okay?"   
  
"Yes, indeed," he agreed.   
  
Angel and Willow sat on the couch by themselves quietly. A few approaches had been made to start a conversation, but none had succeeded.   
  
"All right, we're ready to begin," Giles announced, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Can you get up?" he asked, turning to his student.   
  
"Yeah, I think so." Gripping onto the chair's arms for support, Buffy stood up, wobbled for a moment, then sat back down. "Maybe not."   
  
"Why don't we come to you?" Willow suggested, and she and Angel moved closer to the slayer.   
  
"Good idea," Buffy said tiredly, raising her right index finger to emphasize the words. She needed to wait a few minutes before this dizzy feeling would start to wear off.   
  
Lifting the container off the table, Giles handed it to Angel carefully. The semi-vampire looked at him curiously. Was he supposed to drink it?   
  
Giles nodded as if reading his thoughts. "Drink it."   
  
Angel could feel the knots winding tighter inside his stomach. He didn't want to drink it. The red fluid made his stomach churn. But, if this was to be his cure...   
  
Raising the container to his lips, he began to drink... 


	24. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23  
  
"Don't drink the water  
  
There's blood in the water"  
  
-Dave Matthews Band, "Don't Drink The Water"  
  
Angel closed his eyes tightly as he proceeded to completely drain the container. Putting it back down on the table, he stood and waited for a reaction.   
  
He didn't need to wait long. Seconds after he finished it, a burning sensation like liquid fire appeared down his throat and his chest tightened as he gasped for breath against an invisible assailant.   
  
Buffy and the others watched as he grimaced and clutched his chest. She wished she'd told him about the Holy Water. Maybe it would have at least prepared him, let him know what he was getting himself into. But instead, she and the others watched as the weakened demon inside him battled against his newfound soul.   
  
Stumbling backwards into the wall, Angel slammed into the hard surface as his body convulsed against it. His face changed from its human form to the demonic one and back several times. Finally, it returned to its normal countenance, and he collapsed to the floor in exhaustion, the demon's ashes crumbling to the ground beside him.   
  
Sitting up, Buffy rushed over to her fallen friend. Her earlier dizzy spell was forgotten now. Angel was human. They had all seen the demon inside him turn to dust. The spell worked.   
  
***  
  
Angel was unconscious when he fell, but after a few quiet moments his eyelids slowly fluttered open. Looking up, he realized he was lying on the floor with Buffy cradling his head in her lap and Giles and Willow standing around them.   
  
"Can you sit up?" Buffy asked quietly, concern evident on her beautiful features.   
  
"I think so," he answered, rubbing his temples. She helped him up, and he leaned his head against the wall to brace himself.   
  
Angel waited a few seconds to allow his head time to clear before asking, "What happened?"   
  
Tears welled up in her eyes, and Buffy found herself unable to speak. Everything she had hoped, prayed for, was suddenly coming true. She was overcome with emotion and simply nodded.   
  
Angel's eyes widened. Her response was what he had hoped for. The spell had worked. He wasn't a vampire anymore. He was a human being.   
  
Buffy tried to hold back the sobs as she watched him before her. His expression had turned from one of confusion into complete joy with the news of the spell's completion. However, neither of them knew how to react.   
  
Noticing the tears start to form in her eyes, Angel felt immediate guilt over his happiness. He had been given another chance, but did he deserve it? Buffy had lost one of her friends by his own hand while the demon was alive. He never thought about the repercussions his being mortal again would bring.   
  
"Buffy?" he asked gently, placing a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.   
  
Finding she couldn't hold back the tears any more, Buffy gave up on it and fell into his arms as the sobs escaped her. Everything she had been keeping inside her for those long months came out in one moment as he sat there, holding her tightly against his chest and rubbing his hand against her back soothingly.   
  
"Sh," he whispered, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Sh. It's going to be okay."   
  
Throughout all of this, Giles and Willow had stood back from the couple, silently observing the scene unfolding before them. Angel was human again. They all saw the demon leave his body and turn to dust. The only question now was: What did this mean for the rest of them? 


End file.
